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The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

News/Business. A humorous slant on top news stories. (CC)

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00:30:00

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PG-13;L

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ac3

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480

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Virginia 6, North Korea 6, Jimmy Carter 5, Jon 4, Tennessee 4, Africa 3, Stacy Campfield 3, South Korea 2, Clinton 2, United States 2, Jon Stewart 2, Bill Clinton 2, Us 2, North Dakota 2, China 2, Asia 2, Abc 's 1, Denny 's 1, Ninea 1, Kuchinelli 1,
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  Comedy Central    The Daily Show With Jon Stewart    News/Business. A humorous  
   slant on top news stories. (CC)  

    April 16, 2013
    9:00 - 9:29am PDT  

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>> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. we have one for you tonight. very, very, very pleasing show.
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former president jimmy carter is joining us in what i assume is a late night comedy first. we're going to be talking about guinea worms. they are like the gummy worm that eats you. [ laughter ] comedy gold! [laughter] lately, if you've been watching the television or reading the newspapers, you may have noticed the federal government thanks to dead lock in inertia and what many analysts are calling fatheadedness is not really doing anything when it comes to governing, yeah governing. [ laughter ] but the states are picking up the slack. yes, the meth laboratories of democracy are hard at work tackling all of our nation's most important and pressing issues as we see in our state laws round-up.
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[cheers and applause] oh, yeah! let's put up the big board! [laughter] let's do it. [ laughter. laugh. [cheers and applause] yes, virginia and sodomy because v.a. is for lovers of missionary position. [laughter] >> the republican nominee for governor in virginia has come out against oral sex and anal sex, not just the gay kind, the married consenting adult variety as with the. >> jon: wait, what? wait, there's a married adult oral sex variety? am i right, people? married people know what i'm talking about, snriet sodomy i
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would settle for some gamorah at this point. that guy doesn't know. she doesn't either but those three. seriously love is a beautiful inning in. the word needs more of it. god bless. get home safer. [ laughter ] [laughter] that was weird. [ laughter ] so current virginia attorney general ken pucinell circumstances not a fan of sodomy. he is a mean -- penile traditionalist he likes his sex like his coffee, hot, black and exclusively in the have ninea. and now jimmy carter and the guinea worm. [ laughter ] but virginia's sodomy laws were struck down by the court what is
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kuch doing to do about it. >> he filed an afeel keep virginia's sodomy laws on the books. >> jon: that law is reinstateeled. i guess only outlaws will get (bleep) jobs. pipe down. the only way to stop a bad guy is with a (bleep). [ laughter ] the guy guys (bleep) -- the good guys (bleep) and now curing ebola, the former president -- can i tell you something? that would make for awkward prison cell mate conversation. what are you in for? >> sodomy. >> really? [laughter] interesting. i'm in for -- i mean tax fraud. he wants to use the sodomy laws
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as a loophole to prosecute someone who had sex with a minor. while sodomy is technically illegal under virginia law sex with a 15-year-old is fine. it's a complicated -- >> kuchinelli's nickname is the kuch. i'll pause for a minute while you make an inappropriate joke. >> jon: oh, i'm going make a vagina joke. grow up, lady. what is next? [cheers and applause] [laughter] kansas arkansas and north dakota. that's a red state try fecta. >> arkansas now has the toughest anti-abortion law in the country on the books banning abortions afterel 12th week. >> north dakota ban as abortions as early as four weeks. >> kansas concluded that life begins at fertilization.
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>> jon: kentucky says life begins when a man and woman's hands accidentally touch when reaching for the fries at the denny's. i just wanted to sell it. the states are saying you have to have the baby making sex and you have to have the resulting baby. any state laws that might cover what to do with them afterwards? [cheers and applause] let's head out to the volunteer state. >> we'll go to tennessee and tell but a state senator by the name of stacy campfield. he doesn't have children but he has an idea. [laughter] >> jon: go on. [ laughter ] >> if your kids don't get good grades, in other words don't pass, they would cut your welfare benefits 30%.
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[audience boos] >> jon: moochers. let me see if i can get this straight. little billy is poor. he is not doing very well in school. i have an idea, what if we made him poorer? [laughter] and told his family it was his failt. [ laughter ] huh? last semester my grades were bad because i was hungry and colder but this semester i'm hungrier and colder and my family isn't talking to me so bring on the long division. [ laughter ] is stacy campfield a state senator or a village from a dickens novel? but i guess from the state of tennessee -- [cheers and applause] i guess from the state of tennessee -- tennessee just standing people you know.9,000 a month they should have say. >> the current system gives families up to $189 for welfare
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assistance. >> jon: because $190 would spoil them. who is this state legislator who wants to turn tennessee education into the actual hunger game? >> this comment from tennessee state senator stacy campfield in a serious radio interview raised eyebrows he said aids was transmitted to humans because one guy had sex with a monkey and then started having sex with men. [audience boos] >> jon: two things, i always knew the man in the yellow hat was bad news. [cheers and applause] two, -- [laughter] -- bicurious george. [laughter] and two, did you read that sex monkey story in the new england journal of (bleep). >> i'm not expecting the kids to
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write the magna carta. abc's, 123's i believe any parent could do that. >> jon: you believe aids began when a guy had sex with a monkey. that has to be worth 40% of your salary. [cheers and applause] and you do know kids who depend on welfare are not the only school children who receive the benefit of state funding. penalize everyone who benefits in some way from taxed money. i'm tired of my money going to police departments. hey 911, what is that his last math test? nk it hink it [cheers and appla]
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>> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight he was the 39th president of these united states. he is here to discuss how his nonprofit organization the carter center has nearly eradicated the guinea worth disease. please welcome back to the program president jimmy carter. how are you, sir? nice to see you.
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>> good to be back. >> jon: here is what i didn't realize. okay, so you have this thing that you start in 1986. >> right. >> jon: the carter center. they say this guinea worm is a problem. i can't do it justice. >> if you drink out a water hose it builds up during the rainy season and stays dry. you drink the guinea worm eggs and in a year's time it grows into a worm 30 inches long and stays inside your skin ep dermis and takes a sore. it emerges. takes 30 days to cowment and destroys muscle tish grew. >> jon: and terrible pain. >> almost indecember scribable pain. >> jon: your people sent me a dead guinea worm. >> i bet -- i'm glad it's dead,
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yeah. >> jon: this is what it looks like. that is the thing that comes out of people -- often times their feet or toes. >> feet, toes,, the first time i saw it one was coming out of a nipple of a woman's breast. >> jon: terrible thing n.1986 when you begin this program, how many cases of guinea worm are occurring throughout where is it mostly asia, africa. >> three countries in asia and 17 in africa, subsahara. we found them in villains and had three and a half million cases. >> jon: 3.5 million cases. >> that's what we found. >> jon: 1986 to now is not -- >> last year we had 542 cases. >> jon: 542 from 3.5 million. >> right. and 521 of those cases with in south suedar. this year so far we just have
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seven cases. all of them -- >> jon: unbelievable. [cheers and applause] here is the crazy part. here is the thing. we always think about these types of scourges that hit the areas and we have to develop the right medicine and the drug. and we have to create some sort of -- how was this solved? >> no medicine to prevent it or cure it. for thousands of years they wrapped the guinea worm on a stick so it would come out in 20 days instead of 30. you had to suffer three weeks. we found if you pour the water through a filter it gets out the eggs and drink your filtered water without the guinea worm eggs and you don't have it. >> jon: education. you won't there and they showed. were they resistant to -- >> some of them were because the
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medicine were making a lot of money treating it. >> jon: sure. >> and they thought a pond was safe. fit hadn't been for the pond that the village wouldn't be there. we were insinuating it came from the sacred pond. if you hold up the glass you can see the things swimming around. we eventually showed them the things in the pond and they let us provide the filter. we had to go to every single village on earth that had the disease. we feel we have prevented about 80 million cases of guinea worm since we first started. >> jon: unbelievable. do they now create -- >> dupont give of gave us a special filter that wouldn't rot in the tropics. it had to be often with by people that make parachutes.
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>> jon: you've eradicated it. >> well, almost. >> jon: bill gates is out there with malaria. do you rib him a little bit? how is it going? malaria? >> we work on that, too. we don't brag because we get a lot of money from the bill gates foundation. >> jon: that's what i meant they are very good people. >> really are. one of his greatest admirers. >> jon: when you build their trust are thereother things you want to accomplish in the villages? >> we go out in the jungle and in the desert areas that nobody else wants to go. they call these neglected diseases because nobody -- >> jon: diseases of sanitation and simple -- one of diseases that comes from flies around your eyes causes blindness.
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when you go to a village and you see little children in the distance you think they are wearing eye glances and you get close it's flies on their eyes all the time. the eye gets infected and the upper eyelid turns inward and every time you blink it cuts the cornea. >> jon: how do you do it that? >> we teach the kids to wash their faces which they never tried before. we teach them. and in certain parts of africa a woman is absolutely prevented by taboos from relieving herself in the day time. they have to hide and defecate. we taught them how to build an outdoor toilet that only cost $1 if you do the work themselves. we thought we would have 1,000. we just finned 2 million 300,000
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latrines in africa. >> jon: incredible. >> i've become famous as the number one latrine builder in the world. i'm not famous for peace between israel and egypt but, you know? >> jon: maybe they change the name to the jimmy instead of the john. [laughter] we'll talk about current events right after this.[c [ birds chirping ]
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[ inhales, exhales ] [ announcer ] cigarettes are not just dangerous when they're smoked. [ rat squeaking ]
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they're dangerous long after. cigarette butts are toxic. they release chemicals that poison our water... and harm wildlife. and millions... are polluting our environment. [ sniffing ] [ seagulls squawking ] [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome back. we're here with former president jimmy carter. it must be interesting for you.
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you were president 1976 to 1980. you know, during that time you had a very difficult time with crazy north korea leader that you had to try toll negotiate out developing nuclear weapons. >> yes. >> jon: there was an invasion of afghanistan that you had to take a stand on. does it ever strike you as -- so have we moved nowhere? are we just gerbils running on a wheel? [laughter] this is the third generation of kims that is -- then the forth the kardashian. [ laughter ] that are using sort of nuclear threat to gain some type of attention. >> well, when bill clinton was president, i went over to north korea because we were faced with a war between north korea and south creal. i noilgted with the seen -- south korea. i negotiated with the senior kim
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who was worshiped like jesus christ and george washington combined. they would do anything he said. we negotiated for a number of hours. he agreed with everything i proposed. i brought that back with to president clinton and he got it in wright. we got a firm commitment between the united states and north korea that they wouldn't build nuclear weapons and we would sign a peace treaty with them. when president clinton went out of office and we had a different president he threw this agreement in the waste basket. >> jon: you don't know who he is talking about could be anybody. >> he threw the agreement in the waste basket and declared that north korea was an axis of evil. they are paranoid people to start with and they don't have anything to fall back except intelligence and their ability to build nuclear weapons like now. now we have a deadlock over there and this new leader whom i haven't met kim jong-un.
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>> jon: the grandson. >> he is 30, i think. he is paranoid and he has to rely on verbal threats. >> jon: we don't talk to them. >> we don't talk to them. >> jon: bill clinton sent you over. the only guy who has been there is dennis rodman. who the hell knows what he said. he may have said i hate the knicks build a bomb. we don't know. >> i know. >> jon: people say if they are paranoid people does talk to them would they trust a treaty if we signed with it them? how do you make -- >> anything else they want they tell me when i go. i've been there three times. if they want a peace treaty with the united states, we've not had a peace treaty yet. we had a cease fire at the end of the korean war. >> jon: he suspended that by the way. no longer was the cease fire in operation. >> he suspended the cease fire with south korean -- south korea
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which they never have had. >> jon: i have to go back and wash mash because -- [laughter] >> they had a peace treaty between them and the united states. >> jon: don't you think even china who has been in many ways the power behind the craziness. they've become slightly fed up with this regime and are no longer backing them to the same extend that they were and doesn't that remove really any of their protection? >> i think so. i go to china every year to talk to them. i say very discouraged or maybe angry with the north koreans but they know that north korea's stability as it exists relies on their trade and commerce. we've had an economic embargo against north korea for 60 years. they do everything we can to destroy their economy. they know that. >> jon: we did send them rum. >> we did. i'm not sure the government did
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that but anyway. >> jon: i can't believe you are still doing that type of diplomatic -- do you get miles -- when you go do you get to upgrade? >> when i ride on dealt yeah get frequent flier miles. [laughter] >> jon: i love it. president jimmy carter.
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join us tomorrow night at 11:00. here it is your moment of zen. >> are you aconspiracy